By Trish Briggs
My husband did not have good communication skills. He didn’t express his frustration very often but when he did, I learned very quickly that the thing(s) he was ranting about was not actually the cause. (Confusing! Of course it is--- poor communication skills.) He was expressing his frustration, sometimes even anger but had no clue to why in that moment. I can relate because I had also as a child, compartmentalized my emotions so well that it would take me ages before I could tell someone what I was feeling. (It is a work in progress since I unlocked my compartments and reconnected to my emotions.) At the time, during the marriage, my communication skills were sadly lacking also.
When both parties of a relationship don’t communicate well, other means must be developed to communicate.
I quickly learned to listen carefully and read what I called the subtext of what he was talking about. This gave me the insight needed to figure out what the issue really was. Usually, it was something simple (in my eyes) that had tipped him over the edge, and it could be corrected easily. I usually waited a couple days and then I would broach the topic (he had been ranting about that had been building up over time) without referencing the recent rant and we would discuss it rationally. Together we would decide on a course of action.
I got very good at reading subtext. I would listen carefully to his words with my physical ears looking for clues to what the issue really was. Simultaneously, I would listen with my inner ears for what the underlying current of energy was within the stream of emotion that had tipped the scales. Or what was happening in the background bringing forward the emotions. Eventually without really noticing I started listening with both ears. Not just with my husband, with other people too. It became instinctive and my coping mechanism for working around my poor communication skills.
It wasn’t until recently, I realized I had developed the skill of telepathy. What I called "reading the subtext" became a version of telepathy. My daughter, Leila, often teaches that intuitive abilities can be built out of survival. I can confirm this is true. My inner ears were developed in need. They became a necessary part of my communication skills until I was able to evolve my communication and listening.
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